Joy

This week was filled with yoga highs and lows. On Monday I had a terrible time at yoga. I hadn’t eaten enough during the day. When I’m hungry, I don’t have the energy I need to do the poses. I fake my way through them and feel like a wet noodle. To make it worse, I experienced the worst monkey mind EVER! I couldn’t get control of my thoughts. This made it impossible to balance, which opened the door to self-critical thoughts. I tried not to let it get to me, but by the time Wednesday came around I was not feeling very motivated to get to class. Thankfully I can stick to a routine, so I went to yoga.

Wednesday’s class was amazing. I ate a big lunch, and there weren’t many people in the class. This is nice for me because I am tall. When it is crowded, I get distracted and worry that I am invading someone else’s space. I just threw myself into the poses. I knew from the beginning that the monkey mind was under control. It wasn’t perfect, but it was definitely better than Monday. In fact it was pretty good.

I was tuned in to the oral directions my teacher was giving. At one point, I glanced at myself in the mirror when I was doing a pose that I have been struggling to do for months. I couldn’t believe my eyes, but I was doing it, and my back was straight. Noticing that gave me the fuel to push in every pose. My teacher started showing us new poses and ways to take current poses to the next level. It was amazing! At the end of the class, she commented on my progress. I appreciated the encouragement, but I didn’t need the compliment. I could feel the progress. I left that class relaxed, but I left with something more than that. I felt joy, real pure joy.

Intellectually I know that when I have a tough class I am just getting one step closer to a wonderful class. This was a great reminder to me that showing up is enough.  If I keep doing that, eventually I will get to something better than good.

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