It’s been a while, and the blog feels like the friend I have needed to call for a long time. The longer I wait to call, the harder it is to do. At work I do the hard things first to keep everything flowing, so I thought the best thing to do was just jump back in. At first I wasn’t going to give any explanation for my absence. I thought it was simple- I was gone for a bit, but now I’m back. I attributed my absence to life getting really busy. That is partially true.
It’s also true that I have some messy stuff going on in my life personally and professionally that I don’t want to write about. I don’t want to dwell on negatives, but when you gloss over all the turbulent parts of life you end up with something antiseptic and not that interesting. Terrible, awful things happen to really good people. Terrible, awful things happen to flawed people who make bad choices. Either way, it is difficult to be a witness to human suffering no matter the scale. I pray for wisdom. I do what I can to help, and I hope.
With so much swirling around me, I let myself get distracted. Still those questions that led me to start this blog haven’t been answered and haven’t gone away. I want to stay on the path and this space helps me do that. What’s next in my life’s journey? Why am I going there? How do I get there? Am I stuck or just preparing? Is there more for me to learn where I am right now or am I staying because I am afraid of a big cosmic shift in my life?
I lost everything once, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I want to move through life unencumbered and ready to change course when the time is right- whenever and whatever that means.